Sukanya And Me From My Perspective

It all started on the fateful evening 20 years ago. I was minding my own business and walking down the road at 7:30pm. I was a very quite, thin teenager of 16 years, just finished my 10th and looking forward to college. I was about 5’7” weighing around 58 kgs, brown eyes, black hair and a thin just sprouting mustache. I had never shaved my face before, so there was a thin beard also. I was always a very clean kid and made sure that I was always presentable. I did not have any friends as such, bit of a loner.

I was going back home after buying some milk. I saw a group of hijras walking opposite to me. I got a little scared and tried to move away from the road, I just wanted to avoid them. All of a sudden 2 of them from the group turned towards me and blocked my path. I just looked at the ground and asked them to give way so that I could go. One of them, later I found her name to be Sukanya, told me “You look like one of us. Why don’t you come with us, I am sure you will like it”. I was taken aback. I did not know what to do; I saw a small opening between them and just pushed through and ran as fast as I could. I reached home, gave my stepmom the milk and went to my room and locked the door. My heart was pounding so hard that I thought I would faint. That was the first time that a hijra had ever talked to me in my whole life. I did not know what to make out of it.

After a few days, I saw the group again in front of a shop arguing with the shopkeeper to give them money. They were abusing him and he finally gave them some money and they moved to another shop. I don’t know why, but I became really curious about them. The next day I went to the library to know more about the hijras. I was very careful so that no one will know about what I was searching. I found a couple of books that talked about them. I spend the entire afternoon reading. I read about their struggle with themselves and how many of them live a hidden life and a few of them come out in the open about them being a transgender. I came to know that not all transgender are hijras. I felt a slight excitement when reading about their sexual habits. I was surprised that the details were available in a book in a public library.

I kept seeing them in my neighborhood and one day slowly followed them to see where they all stayed. The place was a little better than a shack. Looked like there were so many people living in the small place. I saw so many ladies chappals in front of the house. I was always fascinated by chappals, sandals, basically all ladies footwear. I had never seen so many designs in my life before.

After I reached home, I switched on the TV and there was a movie playing and everyone was watching it. I just got some chips from the kitchen and sat on the floor in front of the tv. I don’t remember the movie or the actors, but there was a scene in it, where the hero dresses himself as a girl. He actually looked like a real girl in it. He was wearing a saree with blouse, full makeup on, red lips and bangles and earrings.

From the back I heard my grandma saying that it was shameful that men wear women’s clothes. Even to this day I don’t know why I opened my mouth. I asked her why not, why can’t a man wear a saree? There were about 6 people in the hall and suddenly I could feel everyone staring at me. My aunt, in front of everyone asked “do you want to wear saree too?”. I was like a deer caught in headlights. I replied saying no, I was just curious. The next 20 minutes were spent with all of them telling me what a man is supposed to be, how he is supposed to behave in public. My step mom was laughing and teasing me.

I had just started college. It was a 25 minute bus ride. I used to leave home at around 7am and come back by 6pm. In the evening bus sometimes, I see the hijras board the bus. So many times, I took the next bus, if I saw them. One day it so happened that after I got in, they also got it. Sukanya was also there. I was sitting in the middle row and she was standing. The person sitting next to me got up and got down from the bus, for it was his stop. Now I knew that sukanya is going to sit next to me. I tried to get up and she sat down next to me. I could not get out.

Let me tell you how she looked. She was about 5.8, not too fat or thin. If you looked at her from a distance you probably would not think she was not a lady. She was wearing sleeveless blouse and a transparent pinkish saree. I could see some sweat stains in her blouse. Her nails had chipped polish on them. She had a dozen or so bangles on each hand. She had hung a small purse on her left shoulder. He was wearing a mangalsutra.

She started a conversation with me.

Sukanya: So where are you going?

Me: I did not answer, just shook my head

Sukanya: Tell me, I won’t bite you

Me: I am going home from college

Sukanya: I have seen you before, do you live in tilak nagar?

Me: Yes, I live there only. I have seen you all before too

Sukanya: Oh really

Me: Yeah, you talked to me before too

Sukanya: Oh, what did I say

I thought why did I say that. I should keep my mouth shut.

Me: Nothing, leave it

Sukanya: it’s ok, tell me.

Me: You told me that I was also like you and should join you

Sukanya: haha. That was exactly what I was thinking even now

Me: Why do you say that? What in me makes you think I am a hijra

Sukanya: You have that quality in you that makes everyone think that

Me: No one has said that to me. You are the only one

My stop came and I just got up and got down from the bus.

That conversation kind of calmed my nerves a bit about seeing them in the road sometime in the future. I thought what could they do to me. They are also human beings like me. I kept seeing them here and there for sometime.

In the meantime, in college I was getting ragged almost everyday. I told about it at home and no one took any particular interest in it and they said it will last one a few days and then it will become normal. Everyone goes through it in college and not to worry. I kept quiet and let it happen.

It continued for a long time and I did not know what to do about it. I was sitting in the bus stop with tears in my eyes. I did not want anyone to see me cry so, I used a handkerchief to wipe my tears away and to hide my face. Sukanya and her group came there and saw me in that state. She asked me what happened and why I was crying. I told her about the ragging and the humiliation I was feeling everyday in the hands of my seniors in college. She told me not to worry about it, and they will take care of their own. I don’t know why, but I felt a little confident all of a sudden. I now have people of my own.

Next day, the same thing happened and I was being ragged in the grounds opposite to college. When I was removing my shirt, like a hero saves the heroine, I saw sukanya and her group come towards us. The seniors also saw them and were talking about them within themselves.

Suddenly sukanya grabbed my arm and pulled towards her. She buttoned up my shirt and then told all of them not to bother me again or else she would make their lives a living hell. All of them ran away and they never bothered me again. I used to hear many of the students talking about me behind my back. They used to call me hijra, chakka and all. For some reason I did not feel bad about it and I actually had some confidence and even told a few of them, “Yes, I am a hijra and what will you do about it”

I finished my college and joined a professional university for my engineering. I joined a hostel since the university was very far from my home. I actually missed seeing all my hijra friends.

I kept seeing them here and there for sometime.

In the meantime, in college I was getting ragged almost everyday. I told about it at home and no one took any particular interest in it and they said it will last one a few days and then it will become normal. Everyone goes through it in college and not to worry. I kept silent and let it happen.

It continued for a long time and I did not know what to do about it. I was sitting in the bus stop with tears in my eyes. I did not want anyone to see me cry so, I used a handkerchief to wipe my tears away and to hide my face. Sukanya and her group came there and saw me in that state. She asked me what happened and why I was crying. I told her about the ragging and the humiliation I was feeling everyday in the hands of my seniors in college. She told me not to worry about it, and they will take care of their own. I don’t know why, but I felt a little confident all of a sudden. I now have people of my own.

Next day, the same thing happened and I was being ragged in the grounds opposite to college. When I was removing my shirt, like a hero saves the heroine, I saw sukanya and her group come towards us. The seniors also saw them and were talking about them within themselves.

Suddenly sukanya grabbed my arm and pulled towards her. She buttoned up my shirt and then told all of them not to bother me again or else she would make their lives a living hell. All of them ran away and they never bothered me again. I used to hear many of the students talking about me behind my back. They used to call me hijra, chakka and all. For some reason I did not feel bad about it and I actually had some confidence and even told a few of them, “Yes, I am a hijra and what will you do about it.” I told sukanya about the incident and she said “ See, I told you you are one of us” and gave me a nice hug. I became friends with them. I used to visit their home sometime.

I did not see sukanya for some days, but I used to see their group. I asked them about her and they told me she was not feeling well. I went to her house and saw that she had fever for the past few days but she was on her recovery. She was a little weak but could walk and talk. She was wearing a nighty and petticoat.

When she bent down I saw her bra for the first time. She saw me seeing her and asked me if I wanted to see them fully. I said no no, sorry. She told me not to worry about it and took me inside a room and removed the nighty. She was just wearing a bra and a petticoat. Then she turned around and asked me to unhook her bra. I palms were sweating a little and I did not know what to do. This was the first time that I actually saw a person with only a bra. She stepped towards me and asked me again to remove it. I slowly removed it and she took the straps of her shoulders and remove it and let it fall on the ground. I was so excited, I was so looking forward to see her turn.

She slowly removed her petticoat too. It also fell on the ground and then she stepped out of it . I could see her ass. It was nice and plumpy. I could not take me eyes away from it. She saw me and told me you can touch if you want to. I slowly moved my hands and grabbed them, one each for my hands. I slowly massaged them. Then she turned around and I stood up at the same time. I saw a nice pair of breasts. Again a first for me. I had never seen breasts live in front of eyes. I slowly touched them and I kneaded them. It was a great experience.

I slowly moved my hands down on to her stomach and it felt so great. Slowly i moved further down and there it was. A Penis. I read about hijras, I talk to them, I saw them around, but no reading can give you the reaction of actually seeing breasts on top and a cock at the bottom. I was taken aback but she took my hand and put it on her cock. I slowly rubbed it and it became erect. My own cock was also getting erect in my pants. She saw that and in a delicate way moved her right hand on my pants zip and grabbed it. I left out a little moan.

She then removed my belt and I hesitated. She asked me not to worry, she won’t bite. Both laughed a bit. I thought since I had seen her naked, she should as well see me too. I let her remove my pant and shirt. My eyes were stuck on her breasts and with glimpses of her cock.

I removed my vest and underwear and placed it on the chair. She got down on her knees and took my cock in her mouth. I felt so excited, i thought i was going to faint. She started to suck it and I must admit, I came within a couple of minutes, I grabbed her head and pushed my cock in and came in her mouth. She was good enough and swallowed all of it. She asked me if i wanted to return her gift. I was hesitant and she said don’t worry, she will wait till I was ready.

Her satisfying me went on for sometime. Every time I used to go there when she was around and go into the room. She used to come and kneel down and suck me. No conversation at all. One day i thought i have to do sometime and I gave her a handjob and let her cum. She came so little, only a few drops.

In a few months, I had my exams, so I got busy with it and did not get a chance to see her. I finished my exams and went to see her. I came to know that the neighbourhood people had given a police complaint that they are creating nuisance in the area and they had to be removed. Police started to harass them along with the people and they had finally left a week ago.

I finished college with high percentage and joined a professional university for my engineering. I joined a hostel since the university was very far from my home. I actually missed seeing all my hijra friends for a long time. I completed my engineering, went to Germany and did my masters and Phd.

I got married to a nice girl, but had affairs with shemales. After few years we returned to India back to my small little town and my neighborhood. It has changed so much. I took a walk one day to where my sukanya’s house was situated. It had become a chain of stores. The exact place had become a store to sell women’s undergarments and I smiled within myself and walked on…..