Bang Bang With Doolittle, Swap Angle – Part I

I am a freak. Well, not exactly, unusual may be a more appropriate word.

I can understand what animals,birds and insects talk.Not every time or all the time. The phenomenon is like a Tsunami. I can never predict when I suddenly acquire the skill or how long it will last.

Not that I am complaining. I don’t know how Dr.Doolittle managed to live with continuous chatter and cacophony. I gave up trying to find a reason and learnt to live with it. My vague suspicion is that when my wavelength or frequency matches with that of that particular animal at that moment,I can understand their language. Only I was judicious enough never to boast or discuss about this, even with wife, Suma.

My first experience was when I was six years old and was teasing a puppy by pulling it’s tail, ears and it was squealing. An elderly Gentleman was taking his German Shepard for a walk. As it passed me it barked and I was startled to hear it say ” You fool, wait for six months,that fellow will take a chunk off your calf muscle”.

I ran and hid in mother’s pallau and thought it was a figment of my imagination until next experience.Slowly I learnt to accept and live with it.But it still gives a nasty jolt every time.

Once I was walking on a deserted street at night and two dogs were coupled and were waiting to get decoupled. One bitch (sorry,female dog) was circling,wagging its tail.

Suddenly the female dog, engaged in coupling, shouted at her partner. ” Are you mad? Can’t you see she is making an ass of you? She is flashing her tits and pussy to keep us locked and have fun. If you don’t close your eyes, we will be like this whole night”

Another time, I was driving a two wheeler and three buffaloes were walking slowly blocking the road. I kept my finger on the horn , until one buffalo turned,stared at me and snarled. ” Idiot, Can’t you see she is pregnant? Give us few minutes”. I jumped a foot and almost dislodged my friend who was riding pillion.

The best was when I went to Zoo many years back. It was a working day,so there was not much crowd. As I reached Elephant’s section, I found all ladies walking away fast,averting eyes yet surreptitiously darting glances and single men were gaping open jawed. Curiously, I looked and found one Bull Elephant was nonchalantly grazing and had a massive hard on, his cock almost touching the ground.

“Mom. Look, this Elephant has five legs” one 5 year old girl screamed and I looked and saw an embarassed mother trying to pull her away .I smiled at mother who was very good looking. Her face was flushed pink and she gave a half smile and gave a fleeting glance at Elephant’s cock and my crotch. Mother was trying to pull daughter away,daughter was not budging.

A cow elephant came to mother’s rescue and stood between them and the Bull.

I was startled to hear cow say to bull ” Are you not ashamed? We are not in the Jungle. You are making yourself a laughing stock”

A hurt,indignant bull replied ” Young lady,Why are you picking on me? Why don’t you tell your Aunt who is lifting her tail,spreading legs and flaunting her pussy in my face? I know we are not in the jungle, If we were, your Aunt would be crying for mercy as I mount and bang daylights out of her. You would be running for cover,covering pussy with tail “

I looked and sure enough, few feet from Bull’s nose or trunk, a cow was displaying her assets.

Meanwhie, little girl was throwing pebbles at cow to make it move. I sat on my haunches until my face was on her level, smiled and asked ” Have you seen the paraquets? They have so many colours and shades and you know they have tails this long?”

” Really? Show me ” As I was leading her by hand, Mother heaved a sigh of relief and mouthed a silent ‘Thank you” . I took three chocobar icecreams and as we were enjoying the beauty of the birds and their squeaks, I thought Mother was licking her icecream rather seductively and like Bull Elephant I was also getting aroused.

Then as the girl was screaming for a ride in small toy train that goes all round the zoo. I took the tickets .We squeezed in the last seat.There was no way I could prevent my thigh pressing against her warm,soft thigh, which sent electric shocks to run through my body. Mother’s face was also slightly flushed. As the kid sitting in her lap squirmed, she lifted her left hand, giving me a glorious view of her firm left tit, contours of which were visible through flimsy blouse cloth and even flimsier bra. I touched my elbow and pressed lightly.I waited with bated breath. Either she would slap me, move away or press closer. For few seconds nothing happened. She looked speculativeiy at me. Then … she moved closer, crushing her boob on my elbow.

I passed my right hand behind her back, as she leaned forward to accommodate my arm, circled her back and sqeezed her right tit. All the time she was talking to the little girl, showing her animals, laughing and squirming to give me full access to both tits. She ran her hand on the length of my cock which was straining in the confines of pant,smiled at me and said “wow”.

” You said ‘Wow’, what did you see Mom?” Little girl asked.

Mother was very smart. She improvised and said some thing about the colour of the flowers on some trees.At the end of the trip, Little girl wanted one more trip. As Mother was about to get down to get tickets, I assured her I already bought for 3 rounds. As girl was clapping and making merry, Mother asked me in a low voice.” How did you know I wouldn’t slap you? Your money would have been wasted.” Now She inserted her hand in the opening provided by unzipped pant ( loose,long T shirt was covering nicely ) and was stroking my cock.

I shrugged.” I took a chance. If you had slapped,I would have moved my thigh and elbow away, I would have given the tickets to some kids and would have gone” I said as I pulled and pinched her nipples, (She had undone lower two hooks of blouse.) Little girl wanted to get down after second round but Mother convinced her to come for third round.

Finally when we got down, we were both so horny that I would not have minded living in a Jungle like the Elephant and have full freedom and access to bang. As we were coming out of the Zoo gate, little girl screamed, ran and hugged her best friend who arrived with her family.She wanted to go round zoo once more, friend’s parents assured her that they would drop the girl at home.

As they were leaving I heard the girl say to her friend ” You won’t believe,I saw five legged elephant. I will show you.” As they were talking, I walked further and waited underneath a tree. Mother waited until they went inside the gate and came over to me.

“Do you have a motorbike?” she asked me. I said yes.

“Then go to Medical shop two blocks away, buy condoms and knock on the window of that black Corolla car. I will tell driver to start A/C and go have food and come back only after I give him a missed call on mobile” she walked over to the car, tapped on the driver side window. He came out, she told him some thing and gave money. As soon as he left, I rode to Medical shop, bought flavoured condoms ( can not guess what could be in store) and lightly tapped on the opaque,tinted window.

She opened the door.The cool air was comforting. She already undid her blouse and bra hooks and her shapely boobs with erect nipples were visible through thin layer of saree. We smiled, embraced and locked lips in a passionate,exploring kiss, which lasted quite some time. She broke free.

“There is not much time and we can’t bang violently, car will shake. So I will ride you” Saying this, she undid my zip took out my tool, tore open condom cover saw the condom and smiled.

” You are greedy, aren’t you? That’s what attracted me” she slid the condom and kneeled and started sucking first tentatively, taking only half an inch and then licking it. She did not break eye contact and started taking more and more and her warm mouth and tender grating teeth were driving me crazy. I started mauling her tits and lifted her saree and rubbed fingers on her pussy.She was already wet and overflowing. Her clean shaved pussy was throbbing. As my fingers found her clit and as I was fondling it between thumb and forefinger, she came very fast and her whole body shook as spasm after spasm rocked her.

She left my cock and sat in my lap. I guided my cock into her wet pussy and she started slowly but after few minutes forgot about the warning she had given me and started thumping up and down, almost screaming. The shaking car may not have been noticed since it was parked in a corner under shades of thick trees.She pushed her tits into my mouth as she was milking my cock.

Finally when we climaxed it was like a volcanic explosion. As she lay panting on me, I licked and kissed her ear lobes. Luckily I happened to see in the rear view mirror that Driver was walking towards the car. I quitely kised her, bid goodbye, gave my mobile number and email Id, quietly opened the door and slid out. I was several yards away when he reached car and I heard him say to her ” Madam, your phone is switched off. So Sir called me and asked me to tell you to call him back”.

After that memorable banging, they migrated to U.S,she kept in touch for a long time. She graduated into 3 sums, 4 sums. swaps. She told me I was the key that opened the flood gates of her sexuality. She carried her hubby also along. On web cam she showed me all her frolics and fun but never with her hubby. For reasons not clear, I am the only secret she kept from hubby. She told me she tried every thing except Afro American, she said she was scared her pussy would be torn and might render further use impossible. She logs in once a month and keeps in touch.

Later I got married to Suma,fell into the groove that all Indian men are destined to and faithfully fall. Our sex life was wild, exciting, fabulous but slowly petered down to luke warm level with time.My interaction with other species had also reduced, though, not completely stopped. The reason could be I was in constant struggle to match my frequency to that of Suma’s and hence was not aware of any other intrusions.

After nearly 2 decades of marriage, with son studying in a residential collage and realization that it is impossible to match frequencies, I think I gave up the unequal struggle. This could be the reason for things that followed.

On that Sunday, I got up at 7 am, moved from bed without disturbing Suma and switched on Computer and was checking mails. I was totally engrossed, lost track of time, when a voice suddenly jolted me.

“So you are here,you lazy bum. why don’t you go into fresh air and crawl ? All the day you wait near ventilator waiting for breakfast, lunch, dinner to come to you “

I looked around. There was no one. Suma was still sleeping. I slowly looked up and saw the two house lizards.

“You just scared away my breakfast. Why couldn’t you be quiet?”

So I was back with my phenomenon. I had to act as if I was not listening but the next sentence made me jump a foot.

” Instead of hanging around here, you could have just crawled to their bed room. Suma was masturbating so wildly, moaning, groaning….. what is the matter with this fellow? He jumped as if he got an electric shock”

“He might very well have. The builder is useless. you have to be very careful where you crawl in rainy season. Any way, what provoked her to masturbate?”

I mentally named the male Lizard as Charlie. His gruff,nasal,monotonous whining voice reminded me of our Thermo dynamics lecturer in collage. His original name nobody remembers, but he was nicknamed Charlie, since he used to walk with that trademark gait of Charlie Chaplin with toes 120 degrees apart.

And the sound of his grating voice was like scraping of a sharp metal object on a thin iron sheet. One hour of his lecture used to bring stout hearted heroes who stared fearlessly into the opponent’s face in boxing matches, to their knees and to the verge of tears. Our thoughts used to wander on melancholic thoughts like life after death, at the end of his class. So I named the male Lizard Charlie.

I named female Lizard Lillee, for no paticular reason than to rhyme. All female voices sound alike to me. I had to endure many slaps from my sisters for attributing Lata and Asha’s songs incorrectly. If you ask me why Lillee, I will ask why not Lillee?

I strained my ears to catch Lillee’s voice. It was news to me. I thought Suma has pulled down shutters on her sexuality long back and endures sex like a chore that had to be completed like washing clothes.

Lillee said ” She was talking on phone with her friend Jaya, you know that corner flat, 309 ?”

Charlie said ” That big breasted lady? I know,I was always in her bath room. so what were they talking about?”

Lillee said ” You won’t believe……………..”

End of Part I