Kumar Apartment : Season 2 – Part 12 (Cousin Sister Bharti – Intro Episode)

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PART 12: Cousin Sister Bharti – Intro Episode
Narrated By Rahul

Kareeb 4 baje jaise hi darwaze ki ghanti baji main bed se uchal utha. Yakinan ye Bharti hi thi. Mann mein laddu phootne lage mano meri cousin bahan nahi meri girlfriend aa rahi ho. Par main aisa bhi nahi dikhana chahta tha ki main uske aane se kaafi utaawla hoon. Apni image thoda banaye rakhna chahta tha.

Dheere se darwaza open kiya aur bahar dekha. Koi darwaze ka jawab dene gaya hi nahi. Fir ek bar aur ghanti baji to maa ke kamre ka darwaza khula aur woh nikal kar darwaza kholi. Aunty dikh nahi rahi thi. Shayad dono so rahe the. Tab bahar se awaaz aayi.

Maa: Are Bharti! Tum bhi aa gayi. Andar aao.
Bharti: Hello aunty.
Maa: Hi beta, kaisi ho tum?
Bharti: Achi hoon aap kaise hai?

Maa: Ekdam badhiya.
Bharti: Mom kaha hai?
Maa: Woh so rahi thi. Hum dono so hi rahe the lunch ke baad. Woh bhi uth hi rahi thi.

Bharti: Ok, Rahul, woh kaha hai?
Maa: Dikha nahi, shayad woh bhi so hi raha hai, warna woh bell sunkar darwaza zaroor kholne aata.
Main tab jhoot moot ki jamaayi leta hua room se nikla aur bola: Kaun hai mom?

Maa palat kar mere room ke taraf dekhi aur boli: Dekho to Bharti aayi hai.
Main living ko undono ke pass jata hua bola: Hi Bharti.
Bharti: Hello! Hamesha sote hi rahte ho kya?
Main: Nahi bas padhte padhte aankh lag gayi thi.

Bharti: Padhayi?
Ye woh mujhe chidaati hui boli, zaroor usne mere girlfriend wali baat sach maan li thi.

Maa: Chai piyogi beta?
Bharti: Haan agar aap log pee rahe ho to banayiye warna baad mein bhi chalega.
Maa: Theek hai chalo tum apna bag Teena ke room rakh do. Aur fresh ho jao.

Ab aana tha khel ka maza. Teena ka room tha lock aur chaabi maine chupa di thi. Bharti mujhe muh banati hui Teena ke room ke taraf gayi aur main maa ke sath kitchen mein chala gaya. Nahi chahta tha ki jab Bharti ko ye pata chale ki darwaza lock hai aur woh mujhe dekh meri chor shakal pakadi jaye.

Main mom se bola: Aunty uthi nahi?
Maa fridge se doodh nikalti hui jhukti hui boli: Haan uth to gayi hai shayad fresh ho rahi hai.

Unhe mere taraf jhuki dekh maine apne hath unki gaand par rakhi aur kaha: Maa aise sab aap mere samne mat karona.
Maa jhat se seedhi hui aur mere hath ko mar kar hatati hui dheemi awaaz mein boli: Pagal aise sab mat karo. Kavita aur Bharti dono hai ghar pe.

Tabhi achanak se Bharti kitchen mein aayi aur boli: Aunty!
Maa: Ha, beta.
Bharti: Woh Teena didi ka kamra lock hai.

Maa: Lock hai? To chabi usne kaha rakhi hogi. Ek minute ruko main Teena ko call karti hoon.
Fir maa apne room ko chali gayi apna phone lene aur main kitchen mein khada Bharti ke sath.

Bharti mere taraf aati hui boli: Chalo hato. Bas khade rahna jante ho.
Woh chai ki pateele mein doodh aur pani milakar dalne lagi. Aur main use peeche se dekh niharta raha. Patli dubli figure hai uski jaise actress Shradha Kapoor ki. Aur height bhi uske hi jitni.

Halka sawli par utni zyada gori nahi jitni Teena didi hai. Ek minute aise hi hua ki tabhi maa aayi kitchen mein aur boli: Beta, I am sorry.
Main: Kyu, kya hua mom.
Maa: Uff tumse nahi boli main. Bharti se boli.

Ye dekh Bharti has padi aur kya khoobsurat chanchal hasi thi uski.
Bharti: Kya hua aunty?
Maa: Beta woh Teena se baat hui usne apne room ki chaabi galti se apne sath le gayi.

Bharti: Oh no, to ab main…
Maa: Koi baat nahi beta, ek kaam karte hai na. Rahul ko uske room se nikal dete hai aur tum waha rah lena ha ha ha!
Bharti muskurati hui boli: No no aunty, mujhe nahi rahna Rahul ke room mein.

Maa: Theek hai ruko. Kuch sochte hai. Abhi tum mere room jakar fresh hona hai to ho jao aur apna saman bhi wahi rakh do.
Bharti: Ok aunty.

Bharti apni bag lekar maa ke room ko gayi. Fir maa mujhe dekh gussa karti hui boli: Idiot, baal baal bache. Agar woh dekh leti ki tumhara hath kidhar hai to.
Main khada hasne laga aur fir maa chai banane lagi. Tabhi Kavita aunty kitchen ko aayi aur boli: Kya chal raha hai maa bete ke beech?

Main: Kuch nahi aunty bas aise hi khada tha.
Kavita aunty: Bharti kab aayi?
Main: Abhi abhi aayi bas.
Kavita aunty: Woh bhi hamare sath hi rahegi kya Saru?

Maa: Are pata nahi Kavi. Woh Teena ka room lock hai aur chabee usne galti se apne sath le gayi.
Kavita aunty: To fir use Rahul ke kamre mein rahne do na.
Bas Kavita aunty ne to mere muh ki baat cheen li.

Maa: haan woh to hai par Bharti mana kar rahi thi.
Tabhi apni maa ko tokti hui Bharti boli: No, main nahi rahne wali Rahul ke sath.
Kavita aunty: Are beta isme kya hai?

Bharti: Mom! Aap na chup raho.
Maa: Ok ok! Woh baad mein dekhte hai abhi bahas mat karo sab.

Bharti mujhe ek ajeeb si gusse ke sath ghoorne lagi aur fir living room ko chali gayi. Shayad woh is liye gussa kar rahi thi kyu ki mere zabaan ke hisaab se use Teena ka kamra nahi mil raha tha. Bharti aur aunty ke living mein jaane ke baad main aur maa chai aur kuch snacks lekar living ko gaye.

Bharti aunty ke bagal mein hi lambe wale sofe pe baithi thi aur main aur maa uske theek daaye baaye rakhe single sofa par.
Maa: To Bharti beta, kaisi chal rahi hai padhayi?

Bharti: Badhiya aunty. Bas ye entrence ka exam dimaag kharab kar deti hai. Bas woh nikal jaaye.
Kavita aunty: haan to padhayi pe dhyaan rahe to na. Aajkal to naye friends naye trends.

Maa: Haan kya kare. Woh dekho samne ek hai. Padhayi karne bolo to aise lagta hai jaise majdoori karne ko kah rahe ho.
Maa mujhe ishara karte hue bol rahi thi jise dekh Bharti chai ki chuski leti hui hasne lagi.

Kavita aunty: Rahul to theek hi haina padhayi mein.
Maa: Haan agar uske peeche bhage to, warna pooch zara iske papa ke jane ke baad kitni baar book hath se lagaya?
Kavita aunty: Are main jab aayi to ye apne room padh hi to raha tha. Kyu beta?

Main: Ha…haan aunty, maa bas aise hi baat banane ke liye.
Maa mujhe dekh sar hilati hui ishara de rahi thi. Maano unhe sab pata hai ki ab main kya karta hoon band kamre ke andar.

Kavita aunty: Kyu? Aise na kaho. Woh andar padh hi raha tha. Rahul ke to marks bhi ache aaye the na board mein.
Maa: Haan haan jab dekho apna laptop pe hi padhayi karta rahta hai.

Main maa ke kahne ka matlab khoob samajh raha tha aur sirf mein aur maa hi samajh rahe the.

Kavita aunty: Are aaj kal to sabhi bache laptop aur phone mein hi sari padhaayi karte hai. Ise dekho jab dekho mobile lekar baithi rahti hai. Pooch to kahti hai notes iske coching classes ki group mein aati hai. Par mujhe aaj tak dikhayi nahi.

Bharti: Oho maa, aap ko to jaise dikhaun aur aapko samajh aa jaye.
Kavita aunty: Kyu, mujhe kya padhni likhni nahi aati? Main bhi college gayi hoon.
Bharti: Haan haan, aur 15 back paper bhi thi aapke. Ha ha ha!

Kavita aunty ke alawa hum teeno hasne lage jispar Kavita aunty muh banane lagi. Maa ne kaha: Ab tum maa beti ladna band karo.
Hum charo yoon hi fir aas paas ki baate karte rahe. Bharti ne firse kuch der baad wahi baat dubara chedi.

Bharti: I want to freshen up. Kaha jaun?
Main Kavita aunty ko dekh raha tha ki woh bole ki mere room mein jaye. Tabhi maa boli: Mere room chale jao. Agar nahana hoto geyser on karke 3 minute ruko.

Bharti uthi aur apna cup table se uthane lagi. Maa ne kaha: Rahne do use wahi.
Fir Bharti apni bag uthayi aur maa ke kamre ko jane lagi. Pata nahi kyu jate waqt ek thirchi nazar se mujhe dekh gayi par chehre par na hasi thi na kuch, bilkul expressionless.

Uske jaate hi maa aur aunty uthi aur kitchen ko chali gayi. Tab maine apna phone nikala aur Bharti ko message karne laga.
Main: Hello! Aise kyu mujhse naraaz ho?

Turant ek aadhe minute mein uska reply aaya.
Bharti: Main kyu naraz houngi tumse?
Main: To fir mujhe aise gusse se kyu dekh ke gayi?

Bharti: Gussa nahi to aur kya? Teena ka room lock tha to mujhse jhoot kyu bole?
Main: Are mujhe pata nahi tha ki woh lock karke chabi le gayi hai. Woh kabhi aise lock karke nahi jaati. Jab tum ne bataya tab mujhe pata chala. Sachchi.

Bharti: Promise tujhe nahi pata tha?
Waise to enterance ki padhayi kar raha main bhagwaan se koi panga nahi lena chahta tha. lekin Bharti ke sath baat bhi to banani thi to bhagwaan se sorry bolte hue maine reply kar di: Haan promise. I didn’t know, yaar.

Bharti: Hmm ok. Chalo bye. Main nahane ja rahi hoon.
Main: Are pani to garam karlo.
Bharti: On kiya hai kuch der baad nahaungi, bye.
Main: Tab tak text karona.

Bharti: Kyu?
Main: Aise hi!
Bharti: Aise hi kyu karu tumhe text?
Main: Bas aise hi karte rahona.

Bharti: Kyu?
Main: Acha lagta hai.
Ye maine andhere mein teer maar di shayad nishaane ke kareeb lag jaaye.

Bharti: Thoda nahi tumhara poora screw dheela hai.
Main: To tight kar do, tum medical student hona.
Bharti: Tumhara screw tight karke nahi hammer se maar ke tight karna hoga.
Main: To marona.

Bharti: Are, ajeeb ho. You are irritating.
Main: Kyu?
Bharti: Kuch bolna hai to text karo warna chalo bye.
Main: Kya bolu? Tum bolo kuch.

Bharti: Mujhe nahi karni koi text tumhe, tum hi kar rahe ho to tum bolo.
Maine apne dimaag mein ek idea chalaya agar paas to pass warna fail hua to bhi jawab ready tha.
Main: Bolu kya?

Bharti: Bolo.
Main: I love you.
Bharti: What? Gone mad? (gusse ka smiley)
Isse baat bani nahi to maine reply diya.

Main: Kyu? I love you as my sister. Ha ha ha! tumhe kya laga?
Bharti: Tu na pagal hai. Bye.
Main: Are ruko to. Hello! Chali gayi?

Iske baad uska koi reply nahi aaya. To main samajh gaya ki woh shayad nahane gayi ya fir sachme mujh par gussa ho. Main uth kar kitchen ko gaya aur waha aunty aur maa kuch baate kaafi dheemi awaaz mein kar rahi thi. Woh jaise do mahilaye apas mein kisi ki raaz ki baate bolti hai.

Meri aahat sunte hi aunty baat karna band kar di aur palat kar mujhe dekh boli: Haan to Rahul aaj class nahi thi? Kitne din aur nahi hai?

Tabhi ek sath maa aur main bol pade
Maa: Aur 2 din.
Main: Aur 4 din.

Par hum dono ne alag bola aur mera jawab sun maa mujhe achanak se dekhi. Aur unke kuch poochne se pahle maine kaha: 4 din. Woh sir ne pahle 3 din chutti diya tha. Lekin dopahar ko call kiye aur kahe ki ab class agle Monday se hi hoga.

Kavita aunty mujhe dekh rahi thi. Unki nazar maa ko nahi dekh paa rahi thi jiska faayda utha kar maa mujhe ghoorti hui ishara kar rahi thi. Mano pooch rahi ho ki mere dimaag mein kya chal raha hai aur main jhoot to nahi bol raha?

Kavita aunty: Oho to badi lambi chutti mili hai tumhe. Matlab tumhare papa aur Teena jab tak nahi ayenge tum bhi ghar par hi ho?
Main: Haan aunty.

Maa mud kar apna kaam karti hui kuch dhule hue cup drawer mein set karne lagi. To aunty boli: Tab to poore maze hai tumhare.

Main aunty ko dekhne laga ki inka matlab kya hai. To unhone fir kaha: Tumhari maa ko main janti hoon, tumhare papa jaise strict nahi. To poora fayda uthaoge iska.

Main khamakha ghabra gaya woh to padhayi ki baat kar rahi thi. Tabhi maa sink mein pade baaki thode plate dhone ko badhi. To aunty maa ki nighty ke upar se unki gaand par halke se marti hui boli: Chal hat tu, ab main karti hoon. Sirf khane peene aayi hoon kya yaha.

Maa: Nahi koi zarurat nahi tu araam se jakar kahi baith main aati hoon.
Aunty ko aise maa ki gaand par marte dekh ajeeb si lahar daud gayi mere andar. Ye dono kaafi dostana rahe hai jabse main in dono ko janta hoon. Aisa nahi tha ki ye dono bhabhi aur natoon ho, ye dono hamesha se hi achche dost rahe hai.

Main in dono ko chhor apne room jane laga. Ye sochte hue ki ab maa par hath marne ka maoka shayad hi mile jab tak aunty aur Bharti yaha hai, to fir poora dhyaan Bharti par lagaya jaye. Apne room jakar main apne saware saaf sutre bed par leta.

Fir sochne laga ki kab Bharti ke sath is bistar par hone ka maoka mile mujhe, aur agar mile to kaise. Kuch 20-25 minute baad maa ke kamre ka darwaza khulne ki awaaz aayi. To main samajh gaya ki Bharti nahakar nikli. Main chalu ho gaya phone lekar use text karne.

Main: Nikal gaye?
Thoda bhi time nahi laga ki uska reply aaya shayad hath mein hi phone tha uske.
Bharti: Kya?

Main: Naha ke nikal gaye poocha.
Bharti: Nahi abhi bhi bathroom mein hi hoon, aur tumhe text kar rahi hoon duffer!

Ye usne mujhe chidane ke liye kaha. Kyu ki mujhe uski aur aunty aur maa ki mili jhuli awaaze bahar se aa rahi thi. Par maine socha ki uske mazaak ko aage badaun.

Main: Are waah, lucky phone.
Bharti: Kyu?
Main: Tumhare sath bathroom mein naha jo raha hai. (zor se hasne ki smily)
Bharti: Shut up, idiot.

Main: Are har baat par tum itni chidti kyu ho?
Bharti: Tum itne bhondu wale baat karo to aur kya naachu?
Main: Haan naachona. Main gana gata hoon.

Bharti: Nahi nahi, log pathar marenge tumhari khidki par. (zor se hasne ki smily)
Main: Tab main ye gana gaunga ‘Koi pathar se na mare tere diwaane ko.’ Aur tum uspar naacho.

Bharti: Ufff!
Main: Kya hua?
Bharti: Kuch nahi. Tum bahar kyu nahi aa rahe.
Main: Kyu bahar aunga to naachogi?

Bharti: You are so irritating. Mat aao. Bye.
Main: Are gussa ho gaya bacha.

Uska koi reply nahi aaya. Main utha aur room se bahar nikalte hi dekha to teeno stree jaati kitchen mein hi the. Kitchen ke darwaaze par hi Bharti andar dekhti hui khadi thi. Mere paas jane ki awaz se woh palat kar peeche dekhi aur muh chidati hui wapas palat gayi.

Bharti ek neele rang ki legging aur jangho tak lambi navy color ki shirt pehni hui thi. Poora Dhaka hua ki kuch na dikhe. Naa tange na cleavage kuch bhi nahi. Waise uske boobs bhi neembu jaise chote hi the utne bade nahi. Main kitchen ke darwaaze ke paas uske peeche jakar khada ho gaya.

Maa aur aunty sath mein kuch bana rahe the. In dono ki poorani aadat thi ki jab sath ho to kuch na kuch khane ke liye banate the. Jaise ki cake ya kuch aur meetha. Maa aur aunty mujhe aur Bharti ko peet dikha kar khade the. To unhe pata nahi tha ki main aaya hoon.

Jiska fayda utha kar apna phone lekar Bharti jo theek mere samne khadi hai use message kiya.
Main: Looking beautiful.

Bharti ke hath mein phone vibrate hua to woh palat kar mujhe dekhi. Fir wapas mud kar apne phone par message check ki. Main use thoda thircha ho kar dekh raha tha. To dikha ki mere message ko padh kar pahle ek second ke liye woh halka sa muskurayi aur fir normal ho kar mujhe palat kar dekhi.

Aur fir apna phone band kar wapas mud gayi. Use acha to laga hi hoga jab maine beautiful kaha to tabhi to muskurayi bhale ek second ke liye hi. Kiss ladki ko pasand nahi ki koi use beautiful bole. Fir maine dubara message kiya.

Main: Yaha kya kar rahi ho?
Jab phone vibrate hua to usne firse mujhe dekha. Aankh band karte hue chidne ke tarah chehra banati hui apna phone dekhi. Fir message type karne lagi. Main turant phone lekar dekha aur tabhi reply aaya.

Bharti: Kya hai tera problem?
Main: Tum.
Bharti: Main?

Main: Haan tum. Kuch to kaam kar nahi rahi bas dikhane ke liye kitchen mein aakar khadi hai.
Bharti: Oh to tumhe pata chal gaya. (jeeb dikhate hue smily)
Main: Bilkul.

Bharti: Tum kiss liye aaye ho, tum bhi to wahi kar rahe ho.
Main: Main to tumhe dekhne aaya hoon.
Bharti: Kyu?

Main: Itni beautiful jo ho.
Bharti: Zyada mat dekho warna thappad pad sakta hai.
Main: Oho, aggressive?

Bharti: Hmmm
Main: I like it.
Bharti: Get lost.

Uspar maine use reply nahi diya. Par badle mein ek ungli se uske kamar par halki si gudguddi de maari. Jispar woh ekdam se jhatke khati hui apni ek haath peeche kar mere hath par zor ke cheeti kaat di. Kaafi bade sawaare hue nailpolish se chamkaaye hue nakhoon hai uske.

Woh meri chamdi mein achi khaasi daag bana dali. Main firse apna hath use gudgudane le gaya to woh firse hath peeche laayi. Par isbaar maine uske hath pakad liye aur pakda raha. Kya mulayam patle duble hath hai uske. Hath ko pakad uski machalti ungliyo ko apne hath mein pakad halke se marodne laga.

To uske muh se halki si isss ki awaaz aayi. Maine use chhod diya aur woh turant apna hath wapas leti hui mudi. Mere kandhe ko dhakka marti hui bina mujhe dekhe chalti bani. Aur jakar living room mein single seater sofe par baith gayi.

Uske jane ke halchal se aunty peeche mudi aur mujhe dekh boli: Are tum kab aaye?
Main: Bas abhi aaya.
Kavita Aunty: Main aur Saru sham ko bahar ja rahe hai. Tum aaogena?

Main: Haan kyu nahi, kaha jaoge?
Kavita aunty: Bas yoon hi thodi shopping wagayra, chalo charo chalte hai. Bahar se hi dinner bhi kar lenge.
Itne mein living se Bharti boli: Main nahi aa rahi kahi. Aap log jao.

Kavita Aunty: Tu akeli fir kya karegi yaha.
Tabhi maoka hath se na jane de kar maine bola: Nahi to aap dono chale jao. Mujhe ek online Maths ki class hai sham ko. Woh hafte mein ek hi baar hota hai.

Maa turant mujhe palat kar dekhi aur shakki nazar se dekhne lagi.
Kavita aunty: Are, Tab theek hai. Tum mat aao.
Kavita aunty palat kar maa ke sath kuch karne lagi. To main thoda jhank kar living mein dekha.

Bharti mujhe dekh gusse wali shakal bana rahi thi. Fir woh apne phone par kuch karne lagi aur mujhe ek message aaya.
Bharti: Pahle to jane ko ready ho gaye the?
Main: Haan par tum nahi aa rahi hone, kahi akele tumhe dar na lage.

Bharti: Haan tumhare ghar to bhoot haina.
Main: Haan bohut bada wala bhoot hai.
Bharti: Haan janti hoon, abhi woh mujhe text bhi kar raha hai.
Main: Haan main hi, bhoot nahi, drakula hoon.

Bharti: bakwas band karo aur apni girlfriend ke bare mein batao. Kya problem thi jo mujhe batana chahte ho?
Main: Woh main baad mein bataunga, maa aunty ke jaane ke baad.
Bharti: Ok to fir tab baat karna, now don’t text me.

Main fir kitchen se living ko jakar Bharti ke theek samne wali sofe par baitha aur use dekh dekh ke message karne laga.
Main: Koi baat nahi abhi kuch aur baat karte haina.
Bharti mujhe dekhti hui message karne lagi.

Bharti: Kya baat karna hai. Bolo.
Main: Tum bolo kuch, tumhara koi boyfriend hai?
Bharti: Tumhe kyu bataun.
Main: Bataona, main kaunsa aunty ko bataunga?

Bharti: Haan hai. Bohut sare. (zor ki hasi wali smily)
Main: Oho! To ek se mann nahi bharta. (aankh marne wali smily)
Bharti: Hat, idiot.
Uske shakal par halki muskaan aur sharam thi aur sath hi banawti gussa bhi.

Main: sach bataona, koi boyfriend hai tumhara?
Bharti: It’s personal abhi nahi batana chahti.
Main: Iska matlab hai.
Bharti: Offo, kuch aur baat karo.

Main: Tum to kuch bol nahi rahi aur main kuch poochu to uska jawaab nahi deti.
Bharti: I asked you. Tum bhi to baad mein bologe bole.

Main: Are woh baad mein seedhe seedhe bataunga.
Bharti: Hmmm ok!

Bharti se text mein baat karte aur shayad mann mein use chodhne ki ichaaye mere lund par mere shorts ke andar asar karne lagi. Mera lund dheere dheere khada hone laga andar hi andar. To maine kuch utpatang karne ki sochi.

To be continued.